My my how things have changed....

First I want to begin by saying thank you. 

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers you sent my way, I felt them all. I hope you know in return I prayed for others going through infertility battles and God has been gracious and perfect in His timing. To date, I have had 3 other friends beat infertility since July! 

So what's been going on these last 2 months? A lot!

First things first- 

This happened! After a 2 week wait with no symptoms (and I was convinced that the 2nd time around I should be feeling symptoms,) God once again proved that He is so much bigger than anything we can imagine.

And so I began the post-pregnancy hormone regimen. This consisted of a twice daily vaginal suppository of estrogen and a intramuscular (butt) injection of progesterone in oil every three days. The injections got much less painful to take as my butt tissue restored closer to normal and I coasted into week #4 of pregnancy with my imaginary bump with bliss!

Faith

Meet our lil person.... we hope. Officially, meet our 6 day old blastocyst, post-thaw. I am 2 days into the 14 day wait and am driving myself crazy with too much looking into symptoms and too much "Googling." I promptly instructed the hubs to get rid of all home pregnancy tests yesterday, as the chance of false positives or negatives are very high on supplemental drugs, and with them in the house I am too tempted. For now, I will continue the injections and continue to pray.

In times of challenge, I think it's common to fear- fear itself. Fear is the devil in action and harboring it inside only creates anxiety and distrust in God. So instead I am choosing to be okay with my fear. I fear that this will all have been for nothing. I fear that my plans are not His plans and that I will have trouble accepting this. I fear that I will get a positive but that something will happen during the first trimester to take that away. Fear is paralyzing, but instead I chose faith and hope that God has plans to prosper, not harm me; and that no matter my fears, he is my rock, my strength, and my protector.

Over the past few days God has been speaking to me to help dissuade these fears. A few examples include:
1. While driving to the FET on Wednesday we we're listening to Shine FM when Strong Enough by Matthew West came on the radio. This was the same song that played the day I had my pregnancy test for Finley on my drive home.

2. This same song came on the radio yesterday when the hormones got the best of me in our dance studio parking lot. I currently cannot lift Finley (FET orders) and had difficulties coaxing her into the car seat.  Instead of my usual celebrating her fierce independence, I felt defeated.

3. Just today as I was Google searching "early pregnancy symptoms in type 1 diabetics".... Yes, I have resorted to such things. I flipped into the notes section of my IPhone to jot down a book I want to download for our vacation next week. Instead I found a note full of scriptures that I jot down from time to time. The first scripture I read was:


Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7


It's the little things, but these little things have become big things in providing me comfort during the long wait. I hope they provide you comfort in whatever challenges you may face today. Remember, God is all around us and He cares for you.

Thank you for your prayers.

All you wanted to know about FET drugs and more....

Clearly this whole blogging thing worked out better in 2011 when I had no toddler to chase around. Although my posts have been sparse, in the interest of serving as a resource, I wanted to journal how I’ve been feeling prior to the Embryo Transfer Day… tomorrow!!!!!

Throughout FET I have been on two forms of IM injections.

1.       Delestrogen is a form of the estrogen hormone used to thicken the lining of the uterus to support a timed-pregnancy.

The side effects I’ve had on this: acne, continual low back pain and some hip joint pain, nausea (when I let myself get too hungry) and overall feelings of blah.

2.        Progesterone in Oil is a form of progestin hormone often given when your body is not making enough or used to send your ovaries into hyper drive to support a timed-pregnancy.

The side effects I’ve had on this: much more constant low back pain, hot flashes galore, fatigue, excessive hunger and an overall feeling of abdominal heaviness (typical of IVF).

Overall the IM injections look scary but haven’t been that bad. Thankfully I’m not afraid of needles, nor is my husband. I have a few bad bruises from hitting nerves that continue to nag at me, but that pales in comparison to child birth. It’s amazing how my pain tolerance has drastically increased this time around (post-child birth).

So tomorrow afternoon we’re set to see what is hopefully our future baby. We will get an embryo picture and all, Fin’s embryo photo is her first official selfie! If you are inclined to pray, I would really appreciate prayers for:

-         - A successful thawing of the embryo or embryos if one dies and they have to thaw another. This should begin happening shortly.

-          -A successful transfer and implantation of the embryo tomorrow and of course that if it God’s will we will get a + pregnancy test on August 4^th, followed by a few more with rising beta counts until or ultrasound the following week.

-        -  Patience and peace for both Wes and I and the loved ones we don’t even realize are worrying tremendously about us.  The 2 week wait has always proven to be intense, let it not consume our feelings.

-          -Unshakable faith for Wes and I… it’s one thing to say you have it, it’s another to make it count when you are walking in a valley. Let us not lose sight of God’s plan for us and His best intentions, regardless of the outcome. Pray for us that we will always count our many blessings.

Now hands up & sticky-baby vibes (insert spirit fingers) and go…….

TBT & 2WW

We are a little less than 1 week away from the embryo transfer and from the start of the 2 week wait (2WW). Fortunate for me, we will be vacationing part of the 2WW, which will help keep me busy and take my mind off the waiting. The drug that I will start next Wednesday, (PIO) Progesterone in Oil, is designed to create a pregnancy like state for the body. So many of the symptoms I will be feeling are typical of those you feel during your first trimester of pregnancy. It makes the 2WW difficult because you really cannot tell what is a symptom of pregnancy and what is a symptom of the drugs.

After 1.5 weeks on my current drug regimen the side effects I've had thus far include:
- pretty consistent low back pain (just a dull, nagging pain)
- inconsistent abdominal cramping
- acne (woo hoo...)
- some spotting, early on
- fatigue
- overall "heaviness" in my abdominal region.
These are pretty much par for the course, but overall I think I am feeling emotionally much more optimistic and stable than through IVF. I'll take that as a win!

In honor of TBT- here's a photo of me "large and in charge" just a week prior to delivering Finley. I get big with babies (par for the course of diabetic moms), like 57+lbs. big. Since viewing this picture I have thrown away that lime green dress! This was clearly the point in my pregnancy where very few things were fitting!

drugs, Drugs, DRUGS... and FET

What is a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and how does it differ from In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)?

First off, the drug therapy is actually reduced, which you wouldn’t think judging by the picture below of the recent fertility drug shipment I received.

In FET, embryos (frozen) from a previous IVF cycle are implanted into the uterus in hopes of creating a pregnancy. We currently have 3 embryos frozen from our 2012 IVF cycle that are 7-days old at the blastocyst stage. Shady Grove Fertility (the practice we are using) has a 95% success rate of thawing embryos and we have a 50% success rate of a successful implantation.

To prepare for implantation, Progesterone Oil and Del Estrogen are taken through intramuscular injections to thicken uterine lining for implantation.  Because I am not growing multiple embryos this time around (like in IVF) I do not have to take the two other hormone injections. I also do not have as much monitoring for lining and embryo growth.

To date:

-          We both have given blood work for genetic testing.

-          We have had an initial round of blood work to check for hormone levels, STDs (standard), vitamin D levels, etc.

-          I have begun birth control to regulate my cycle.

-          I have had an HSG xray to ensure that nothing in my female anatomy is blocked, preventing pregnancy.

-          I have had a mock embryo transplant so that my doctor’s could learn the contours of my anatomy again for implantation.
- I have had another round of bloodwork and vaginal ultrasound pre-med to check my baselines again.

And then this started on Monday evening:

Wes began giving me the first round of drugs in the FET process, Del Estrogen. Currently I am taking this needle in the upper butt area every 3 days. Thanks to helpful tips from a few of my friends, I found that icing the spot prior to injection makes an IM (intramuscular) shot a whole lot easier. I also had minimal bruising I think because of this.

The first day after the injection I felt like crap! I pretty much spent the entire day with back pain, stomach pressure/ tightness, and spotting. All things that can be normal with this drug. The second day, other than being tired and a bit dizzy I felt much better. I did have a brief period of nausea that morning, but I think I have to be more careful about taking my prenatal vitamin after eating, coupled with these hormones. I've been trying to maintain activity and have continued to teach BodyPump (I will do this until next week) and walking/running. My activity will be restricted in early pregnancy and when the Progesterone Oil begins on 7/22, so I'm trying to take advantage of the benefits of movement now.

Tonight holds another round of drugs for me, so we'll see what tomorrow brings. PS: I think Wes is having a bit too much fun with this!

The Prelude to the Big Show!

Pregnancy for any type 1 diabetic can be complicated to say the least. There are fears of low birth weight, premature birth, preeclampsia, high birth weight and beyond. For that reason, a diabetic pregnancy is tightly controlled with more ultrasounds (the good part) than routine pregnancy and more doctors (the bad part) with close monitoring. Reference this throw back blog post for details on last pregnancy’s strategy.

This time around I will be using the same team of doctor’s I did the last time with a few minor changes.

•  I will have my endocrinologist, who will monitor my type-1 diabetes. Pregnancy is typically associated with insulin sensitivity during the first trimester and insulin resistance during the second and third trimesters. Due to that, the insulin demands of the body drastically change throughout the course of 10 months. Throughout pregnancy I will see and/or consult with my “endo” every two weeks and then every week.
•    I will be using a perinatologist practice located in my delivery hospital. The “peris” will be monitoring the health of the baby throughout the diabetic pregnancy. They will do this through ultrasounds to measure the babies growth and my amniotic fluid levels. On average I will get an ultrasound 1-2x/ month. At around 20 weeks they will do a fetal echocardiogram with a specialist from Children's Hospital to ensure that the heart anatomy has developed appropriately.
•   I will be using the same OB practice as the last time; however, the OB that conducted my c-section has retired. I am super bummed about this because I had a rock start c-section recovery and barely have a scar. Kudos to you Dr. Seidel!

·         I will be delivering again at the largest birthing hospital in Maryland because of their high level NICU. Our little lady spent 36-hours in the NICU this past delivery, coming off of her mommy’s insulin needs. The level-1 NICU ensures that she will not be transferred out of the hospital to higher level care without me. This was super advantageous for breastfeeding. Holy Cross Hospital was also awesome at honoring my requests to be wheeled to the NICU every 2-hours to breastfeed after she was born and not in the room with me.

For now the plan is to start drugs on Monday 7/06, then go from there.....

And so we meet again....

Yes, it has been almost 3 years (10/09/12) since my last blog post, at which time our bags were packed and we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby girl. Why the 3 year blog hiatus? Well, several reasons…

1.   Shortly after 10/09 we had our sweet baby girl (10/12) and life got chaotic and exhausting! The kind of chaotic and exhausting that no first-time parent can adequately prepare for. I don’t care how many baby blogs, books, or gadgets you buy/ read. The first two months of new parenthood are intense! And admittedly I struggled to shampoo my hair and shave my legs in the same shower, let alone write blog posts.

2.  I began this blog as a resource for those going through IVF and/or a type-1 diabetic pregnancy. When we saw this road before us, I struggled to find personal, relatable resources instead of those coming from medical journals (aka scary). Three years later, I’m proud to say that this lil ole’ blog has been shared countless times over with women that I know and do not know, who are struggling with fertility. I hope they have found it honest and refreshing.

So why am I back, writing again today? As we embark on a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET), I am hoping that this blog will once again be useful as a resource for those struggling with infertility and/or type 1 diabetic pregnancy.

After 2 years 9 months of “trying” to get pregnant again, the hubs and I are ready to be more “intentional” about our fertility and know that organic pregnancy is just not in the cards for us. We chose to begin this summer and not sooner because if successful on the first round of FET, our children’s birthdays would be separated by nearly 6 calendar months (May & Oct). Hello, happy party-planning! Yes, I realize this is an “unfair” advantage, but one that I will fully take advantage of.

 

And so the journey begins…..

For those struggling with infertility, I encourage you to read Hebrews 11. Yes, the entire chapter, which focuses on Faith in Action. I believe that all acts of conception are of great faith. The chances of conceiving each month are so small; it is truly some of God’s best work in action.

Hebrews 11:11 And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise.