Party of 24?!

This weekend I’ll be taking 24 of my student personal trainers and instructors (ranging in age from 18-23) to Virginia Tech for the annual Southeast Collegiate Fitness Expo, a conference for student instructors/trainers. I love this weekend each February and look forward to it each year. It’s a great way to connect as a team (thanks to those instructors/trainers staying behind to run our programs) and be inspired by the passion my students have toward fitness and changing population health. This weekend always entails staying up a little too late, doing something crazy (like pulling off the road to take pictures with funny road signs or in the past South of the Border) and falling in love with my career all over again!

I’m sure that you’ve seen the images circulating about on Facebook revolving around the perceptions of many different careers, below are those of a personal trainer and student affairs professional. Contrary to what many think, I do more than pass out basketballs for money (although I wish that I did), much of what I do is routed in leadership theory and learning outcomes. But mostly what I hope to do is inspire my students half as much as my mentors inspired me.

Cheers to your weekend of fun and if you have nothing fun planned- get up, get out, and get moving!

Welcome Back!

Thank you all for being patient and for dealing with my brief blogging hiatus. The last week has been a lot to digest/ deal with and I wasn’t quite sure how to continue writing while keeping my emotions in check.

What I do know?

-That I’m feeling pretty good and looking forward to our upcoming mini-vacation to Mexico!

-That when I become a mom, I’ve got some serious practice to do! The hubs and I babysat our close friends’ 15-month old last weekend and had a blast! However, I totally underestimated the ability of our home to withstand a toddler (nothing is toddler proofed) and she had a blast seeing me chase her from outlet, to dog bowl, to knick knack, etc. She was a joy to spend the evening with and a real eye opening experience. Thanks H’s for allowing us to do so!  

- That I’m ready for spring! Here in MD the temperatures have been bouncing around and the few tastes of spring we’ve had really have me yearning for spring clothing, bright colors and sun dresses. I am a spring baby and an all things tropical lover and am officially over the February blehs!

- That this spring/ summer is going to be a lot of fun! We have travel plans to Cancun, Las Vegas and San Diego coming up over the next 4 months and I’m excited to explore! In addition to this we have several fun weddings coming up this summer and I’m excited to celebrate with these fantastic couples. It’s going to be a very busy spring/ summer, but a fun spring/summer.

On that note, what are you most looking forward to this spring/ summer?

My thoughts today....

As I wait, my thoughts turn to a favorite passage from Christian novelist and pastor, may it help you through difficult moments as well:

“There is nothing- no circumstance, no trouble, no testing- that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment, but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I will rest in the joy of who my Lord is.”- Alan Redpath

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.- Psalm 27:14

The wait is almost over....

Our two week wait comes to a close tomorrow morning and quite frankly, I’m not sure how to feel about it. If you asked me today whether or not I thought I was pregnant, I would tell you that I don’t have a clue. I’ve had definite signs, but mixed with the hormones, I don’t know how definite these can be.  In addition to that, we’ve had two friend couples receive unfortunate news at the culmination of their 2ww with IUI in the past two weeks. I know that everyone is different, but it sure doesn’t help one to remain optimistic.

So for those of you waiting with us, here’s how it’s going to work…..

Thursday (tomorrow): I will visit the clinic at 7:30am for blood work and receive a phone call with results by 3pm. Longest. Wait. Ever. That being said, I really, truly appreciate all of the love and support, but please don’t call me tomorrow! J I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when my phone rings….

If positive, we will then visit the clinic 2 additional times for 2 additional blood work- pregnancy tests to make sure that my Hcg levels are rising and this wasn’t the hormones reading. By the middle of next week, we should have the “official” positive and will await our OB ultrasound with the clinic and to hear our little one’s heartbeat. I will also stay on hormones to support the pregnancy for an additional 7 weeks.

If negative, we will be taking the month of March off to give my body a break and to take a mini-vacation.

Because the chance of miscarriage in the first few weeks is slightly higher with IVF and with type 1 diabetes, we will not be sharing our news with anyone other than immediate family. I know that many of you have been following us and praying for us along this journey and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. Our plans are to share whatever news we have by mid-March when we leave for our vacation, where we’ll be traveling with friends 1) I won’t be partaking in Mexican margaritas and 2) I’ll be looking “bellylicious” in my bathing suit (the IVF stomach measures 1 month ahead typically from a normal pregnancy)  so if good news, it will be hard to hide!

In the meantime, I’m going to continue blogging on all things related to our life, hoping for baby, and trying to conceive. The road does not stop here my friends, it’s only the beginning…..

The next time you here from me, will we be a family of four or three?

The Side Effects of IVF....

Disclaimer: today I’m leaving the physical side effects behind and talking more about the emotional side effects!

Self-medicating, that’s what has been going on these past 11 days in the Rowh’s world! Things that I used to do for pleasure and relaxation (working out and drinking wine) have been tabled due to IVF treatments, so we’re left to deal with stress and worry in more creative ways.  Hence, this little blog you’ve been following. I thought it might be good to divulge my habits, in hopes of curbing the more expensive things we’ve been doing.

1.       Prayer- thankfully our faith has grown even deeper as we turn to God inwardly and outwardly as a couple to guide us through this journey. We have committed to a deeper understanding and trust of him and with this have spent more time in his word and in conversation with him. I am so thankful to have had this opportunity to “go deeper.”

2.       Eating- the not so good of self-medicating! Eating out to be specific! Usually it is our rule of thumb to only eat out on the weekends and cook on the weekdays. The exhaustion from the hormones coupled with two busy work schedules have resulted in many more week night grab and go’s! Thankfully our waistlines and wallets haven’t felt it too much! We’ve managed to keep the eating out to 2-3x per week (in comparison to our usual 1-2x per week) and now that I’m getting to the end of this particularly journey, I’m resolving to begin cooking more.

3.       Shopping- thanks to RueLala and Target, I’ve been getting (on average) 1 package delivered a week. For those of you who know me, you know I love a good sale, and the need to “cheer myself up” has resulted in many good RueLala deals. To date, I’ve only purchased things that I need (i.e. a one piece bathing suit for an upcoming trip we’re taking and espadrilles for the trip) but I’m finding the need to put myself in check!

The biggest side effect that I’ve experienced is my lack of sociability! I love a good party and love to be around people. Since starting the latest hormone regimen this has not been the case. It’s mostly because I’m just too darn tired, but I want my chipper self back, now!

1 Week Away!

We’re 1 week away from a life changing test, eeek! Thanks to the guidance of some mommy friends that are much wiser than I am, I’ve decided to not test at home prior to the Drs. office. There are just way too many chances of a false +/- that I feel like I couldn’t trust what the results are. Even after next Thursday we’ll visit the clinic 3 more times for a test to secure that my HcG levels are rising prior to officially calling it a go!

I know that these next 7 days are probably going to be more challenging than the last 7, but I’m also hoping that I’ve packed enough into my weekend that the days will breeze by. First and foremost I’ll be taking it easy (before my family reads this and calls me), but I also need to get organized again. Two weeks away from your life (i.e. cleaning, laundry, groceries) and things start to get chaotic. The hubs has done an amazing job of keeping up with what he can, but I’m sure you can understand when I say that some things I just need to do myself. I’m still on a limited stair, no vacuum, laundry or over 20lb. lifting restriction, but the hubs is willing to help along the way. He’s a good egg!

Additionally, we’ll be attending the wedding of two of my former students this weekend, who met in college. I’m so very happy for them. They’re an outstanding couple and talk about creating beautiful children- I cannot imagine what their family is going to look like one day. Congrats to D & M!

1 Week Away!

We’re 1 week away from a life changing test, eeek! Thanks to the guidance of some mommy friends that are much wiser than I am, I’ve decided to not test at home prior to the Drs. office. There are just way too many chances of a false +/- that I feel like I couldn’t trust what the results are. Even after next Thursday we’ll visit the clinic 3 more times for a test to secure that my HcG levels are rising prior to officially calling it a go!

I know that these next 7 days are probably going to be more challenging than the last 7, but I’m also hoping that I’ve packed enough into my weekend that the days will breeze by. First and foremost I’ll be taking it easy (before my family reads this and calls me), but I also need to get organized again. Two weeks away from your life (i.e. cleaning, laundry, groceries) and things start to get chaotic. The hubs has done an amazing job of keeping up with what he can, but I’m sure you can understand when I say that some things I just need to do myself. I’m still on a limited stair, no vacuum, laundry or over 20lb. lifting restriction, but the hubs is willing to help along the way. He’s a good egg!

Additionally, we’ll be attending the wedding of two of my former students this weekend, who met in college. I’m so very happy for them. They’re an outstanding couple and talk about creating beautiful children- I cannot imagine what their family is going to look like one day. Congrats to D & M!

Ashamed of Myself

We’re officially 1 week and 1 day away from finding out whether or not IVF (round #1) has been successful. I’d like to say that I’ve been calm and relaxed, but unfortunately the 2 week wait (2WW) got the best of me last evening. This morning I awoke quite ashamed of myself and I’m moving forward with a new day and a new outlook on the process. I’m now more determined to keep myself busy and my mind off the possibilities….

Things that I need to quit doing on my 2WW:

-          Over analyzing my body (Is my chest larger? Does it hurt, does it not hurt? I’m not cramping anymore, is that good or bad?) Enough!

-          Stop reading things on the Internet- that sparked my emotional let go last night. There really are no sure symptoms of pregnancy and these are even further disrupted by the hormones I’m taking.

-          Thinking about a pregnancy test. I was all good on not taking a test until my nurse presented the possibility of testing next Wednesday at home prior to Thursday's bloodtest, now I cannot get it out of my head.

-          Thinking about “feeling” pregnant! What does that even mean? I was pretty discouraged yesterday because up until then I had been “feeling” off, but I truthfully don’t have those feelings any longer.

-          Turning to any source (the Internet, people) and not to my God for faith, support and assurance.

Today, I am going to remember:

Proverbs 2:8 ….for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

The Big Freeze!

No, I’m not talking about the weather. I’m talking about the 3 frozen embryos that are currently being held by our fertility clinic. After much debate back and forth, the hubs and I decided to freeze our embryos on Friday for the following reasons:

1.       The clinic only froze the very best embryos and allowed our petri-dish embryos to continue to grow for 7 days. A the time of implantation we had 9 embryos still growing, 1 implanted in me and 3 survived 2 days longer with cells continuing to divide by function.

2.       If this round of IVF does not work, we’ll be able to proceed forward with round #2 with minimal hormone therapy. This makes both the hubs and I very happy!

3.       When it came down to the final call, we had trouble discarding really good embryos on the off chance that I would not produce these again.

The chance of success with a frozen embryo closely mimics the chance of success with a fresh embryo so we’re hopeful that if not this round then we’ll find success with our embryos on ice during round #2.

Our insurance does not cover the cryopreservation or thawing, but we’ve been fortunate to date with full insurance coverage over all other procedures. Thank you State benefits! My heart goes out to those that pocket the nearly $20,000/ round of IVF when trying to conceive unconventionally.

On that note, the matters going on in California with prop #8 make me sick! Prayers go out to the wonderful people in my life (same sex marriage and heterosexual marriage) trying to conceive, I personally believe that every loving couple in God’s eyes has the right to have a family and get married it is not our government’s job nor our job as humans to dictate this. Woohoo California for making the right decision, finally!  And my hormone-induced rant is done for the day, thanks for sticking with me!

Sticky Pregnancy Vibes!

As of 10:30am on Friday, I now have a grade 1A (the highest) embryo residing inside me. The key to making this pregnancy work is for it to attach to my lining, hence the massive amount of progesterone and estrogen I’m ingesting. We were told that we had the highest chances of conceiving through IVF at our embryo grading report on Thursday, which is 55%. On Friday, we were sitting in the lobby with one other couple, who were there for the same thing, and all I could think was that one of us would be pregnant and one of us would not. The hubs, fur baby and I have been doing a “sticky pregnancy vibe” dance each night across my belly (similar to spirit fingers), so if anyone would like to join this ritual with us, hands up!

Friday was simply a magical day! I cannot describe how cool it is to see an embryo implant in your uterus on a television screen. The hubs most certainly might be one of those guys that are knocked out in labor & delivery for having a video camera places that it shouldn’t go. As soon as the Dr. said do you want to take pictures of this, off he went with 100 flashes and questions. His excitement was genuinely adorable!

The past 36 hours has been bed rest in hopes that our little embryo will attach and make a 40-week home out of my uterus. This might be the reason the passage above is a bit of “thought dumping”…. I think all of this couch-laying has turned my brain to mush!

For now enjoy our implantation day in “PG” pictures and keep sending me “sticky pregnancy vibes!”

                                                                     Pre-Implantation

                                                             Embryo Going In

                            As the embryo entered my uterus it appeared as a tiny dot on the screen

                                                     Possibly Baby Rowh's 1st picture!

PS: My diaper bag was also delivered on Friday (5 days early), could it be a sign?

Our Life Could Change That Quickly...?

Tomorrow is the big day, which makes tonight the night before our life could change. It’s weird to think that after 10am tomorrow our little one, the one we’ve longed for, the one we’ve prayed for, the one we’ve cried and stressed over, the one we’ve dreamed of, could be on the way. The Hubs and I will be going out to dinner and relaxing this evening in preparation for tomorrow’s big events, and when we say our prayers this evening; we’ll hope and pray even more to be on the positive side of the 55% chance.

Day#3

Want to guess how many eggs are still growing?? Nine! We have fighters, and as the nurse said today, "beautiful embryos" on our hands. At this stage the embryologists hope to have half of the fetilized eggs with no fragmentation. Currently of the 9 eggs still growing, we have 6 eggs without fragmentation, that's 75%, woo hoo!

One of these embryos will be coming to live inside of me, hopefully for the next 40 weeks, on Friday at 10am. The hubs and I are busy planning a pre-pregnancy dinner date for tomorrow night because it's bed rest for the remainder of the weekend. I chuckle to think of the story we could one day share with our child about the morning they were created.

Day #2 Update

I’m sorry for the delay in posting, but we got a spectacular report on our little eggs yesterday! As of Noon yesterday 9 eggs were continuing to grow and had reached the stage 4 cell division;  we’re looking for stage 6 division today and the cell’s should start to divide by function.  All eggs appeared to be growing well, although 1 egg was showing 10% fragmentation. Call it “mother’s intuition” but I anticipate only having 8 eggs thriving today.

I’m feeling well and will begin a 4 day period of bed rest starting tomorrow. I’ve rented just about every Red Box movie I can get my hands on and I’m ready to relax!