My my how things have changed....

First I want to begin by saying thank you. 

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers you sent my way, I felt them all. I hope you know in return I prayed for others going through infertility battles and God has been gracious and perfect in His timing. To date, I have had 3 other friends beat infertility since July! 

So what's been going on these last 2 months? A lot!

First things first- 

This happened! After a 2 week wait with no symptoms (and I was convinced that the 2nd time around I should be feeling symptoms,) God once again proved that He is so much bigger than anything we can imagine.

And so I began the post-pregnancy hormone regimen. This consisted of a twice daily vaginal suppository of estrogen and a intramuscular (butt) injection of progesterone in oil every three days. The injections got much less painful to take as my butt tissue restored closer to normal and I coasted into week #4 of pregnancy with my imaginary bump with bliss!

Faith

Meet our lil person.... we hope. Officially, meet our 6 day old blastocyst, post-thaw. I am 2 days into the 14 day wait and am driving myself crazy with too much looking into symptoms and too much "Googling." I promptly instructed the hubs to get rid of all home pregnancy tests yesterday, as the chance of false positives or negatives are very high on supplemental drugs, and with them in the house I am too tempted. For now, I will continue the injections and continue to pray.

In times of challenge, I think it's common to fear- fear itself. Fear is the devil in action and harboring it inside only creates anxiety and distrust in God. So instead I am choosing to be okay with my fear. I fear that this will all have been for nothing. I fear that my plans are not His plans and that I will have trouble accepting this. I fear that I will get a positive but that something will happen during the first trimester to take that away. Fear is paralyzing, but instead I chose faith and hope that God has plans to prosper, not harm me; and that no matter my fears, he is my rock, my strength, and my protector.

Over the past few days God has been speaking to me to help dissuade these fears. A few examples include:
1. While driving to the FET on Wednesday we we're listening to Shine FM when Strong Enough by Matthew West came on the radio. This was the same song that played the day I had my pregnancy test for Finley on my drive home.

2. This same song came on the radio yesterday when the hormones got the best of me in our dance studio parking lot. I currently cannot lift Finley (FET orders) and had difficulties coaxing her into the car seat.  Instead of my usual celebrating her fierce independence, I felt defeated.

3. Just today as I was Google searching "early pregnancy symptoms in type 1 diabetics".... Yes, I have resorted to such things. I flipped into the notes section of my IPhone to jot down a book I want to download for our vacation next week. Instead I found a note full of scriptures that I jot down from time to time. The first scripture I read was:


Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7


It's the little things, but these little things have become big things in providing me comfort during the long wait. I hope they provide you comfort in whatever challenges you may face today. Remember, God is all around us and He cares for you.

Thank you for your prayers.