Hormone free, that's me!

Today is my first official day sans IVF hormones. Now I get what you’re thinking… but what about all of the pregnancy hormones? And they’re still there, trust me the nausea and mood swings I had this morning confirmed it for me. Still yet, it feels good to wake up each morning without having to take an estrogen pill and progesterone vaginal insert (that’s right folks!) It’s also one step further toward a normal pregnancy!

Cheers to me, I’m  (IVF) hormone free!

1 Week Away!

We’re 1 week away from a life changing test, eeek! Thanks to the guidance of some mommy friends that are much wiser than I am, I’ve decided to not test at home prior to the Drs. office. There are just way too many chances of a false +/- that I feel like I couldn’t trust what the results are. Even after next Thursday we’ll visit the clinic 3 more times for a test to secure that my HcG levels are rising prior to officially calling it a go!

I know that these next 7 days are probably going to be more challenging than the last 7, but I’m also hoping that I’ve packed enough into my weekend that the days will breeze by. First and foremost I’ll be taking it easy (before my family reads this and calls me), but I also need to get organized again. Two weeks away from your life (i.e. cleaning, laundry, groceries) and things start to get chaotic. The hubs has done an amazing job of keeping up with what he can, but I’m sure you can understand when I say that some things I just need to do myself. I’m still on a limited stair, no vacuum, laundry or over 20lb. lifting restriction, but the hubs is willing to help along the way. He’s a good egg!

Additionally, we’ll be attending the wedding of two of my former students this weekend, who met in college. I’m so very happy for them. They’re an outstanding couple and talk about creating beautiful children- I cannot imagine what their family is going to look like one day. Congrats to D & M!

1 Week Away!

We’re 1 week away from a life changing test, eeek! Thanks to the guidance of some mommy friends that are much wiser than I am, I’ve decided to not test at home prior to the Drs. office. There are just way too many chances of a false +/- that I feel like I couldn’t trust what the results are. Even after next Thursday we’ll visit the clinic 3 more times for a test to secure that my HcG levels are rising prior to officially calling it a go!

I know that these next 7 days are probably going to be more challenging than the last 7, but I’m also hoping that I’ve packed enough into my weekend that the days will breeze by. First and foremost I’ll be taking it easy (before my family reads this and calls me), but I also need to get organized again. Two weeks away from your life (i.e. cleaning, laundry, groceries) and things start to get chaotic. The hubs has done an amazing job of keeping up with what he can, but I’m sure you can understand when I say that some things I just need to do myself. I’m still on a limited stair, no vacuum, laundry or over 20lb. lifting restriction, but the hubs is willing to help along the way. He’s a good egg!

Additionally, we’ll be attending the wedding of two of my former students this weekend, who met in college. I’m so very happy for them. They’re an outstanding couple and talk about creating beautiful children- I cannot imagine what their family is going to look like one day. Congrats to D & M!

Ashamed of Myself

We’re officially 1 week and 1 day away from finding out whether or not IVF (round #1) has been successful. I’d like to say that I’ve been calm and relaxed, but unfortunately the 2 week wait (2WW) got the best of me last evening. This morning I awoke quite ashamed of myself and I’m moving forward with a new day and a new outlook on the process. I’m now more determined to keep myself busy and my mind off the possibilities….

Things that I need to quit doing on my 2WW:

-          Over analyzing my body (Is my chest larger? Does it hurt, does it not hurt? I’m not cramping anymore, is that good or bad?) Enough!

-          Stop reading things on the Internet- that sparked my emotional let go last night. There really are no sure symptoms of pregnancy and these are even further disrupted by the hormones I’m taking.

-          Thinking about a pregnancy test. I was all good on not taking a test until my nurse presented the possibility of testing next Wednesday at home prior to Thursday's bloodtest, now I cannot get it out of my head.

-          Thinking about “feeling” pregnant! What does that even mean? I was pretty discouraged yesterday because up until then I had been “feeling” off, but I truthfully don’t have those feelings any longer.

-          Turning to any source (the Internet, people) and not to my God for faith, support and assurance.

Today, I am going to remember:

Proverbs 2:8 ….for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

The Big Freeze!

No, I’m not talking about the weather. I’m talking about the 3 frozen embryos that are currently being held by our fertility clinic. After much debate back and forth, the hubs and I decided to freeze our embryos on Friday for the following reasons:

1.       The clinic only froze the very best embryos and allowed our petri-dish embryos to continue to grow for 7 days. A the time of implantation we had 9 embryos still growing, 1 implanted in me and 3 survived 2 days longer with cells continuing to divide by function.

2.       If this round of IVF does not work, we’ll be able to proceed forward with round #2 with minimal hormone therapy. This makes both the hubs and I very happy!

3.       When it came down to the final call, we had trouble discarding really good embryos on the off chance that I would not produce these again.

The chance of success with a frozen embryo closely mimics the chance of success with a fresh embryo so we’re hopeful that if not this round then we’ll find success with our embryos on ice during round #2.

Our insurance does not cover the cryopreservation or thawing, but we’ve been fortunate to date with full insurance coverage over all other procedures. Thank you State benefits! My heart goes out to those that pocket the nearly $20,000/ round of IVF when trying to conceive unconventionally.

On that note, the matters going on in California with prop #8 make me sick! Prayers go out to the wonderful people in my life (same sex marriage and heterosexual marriage) trying to conceive, I personally believe that every loving couple in God’s eyes has the right to have a family and get married it is not our government’s job nor our job as humans to dictate this. Woohoo California for making the right decision, finally!  And my hormone-induced rant is done for the day, thanks for sticking with me!

Sticky Pregnancy Vibes!

As of 10:30am on Friday, I now have a grade 1A (the highest) embryo residing inside me. The key to making this pregnancy work is for it to attach to my lining, hence the massive amount of progesterone and estrogen I’m ingesting. We were told that we had the highest chances of conceiving through IVF at our embryo grading report on Thursday, which is 55%. On Friday, we were sitting in the lobby with one other couple, who were there for the same thing, and all I could think was that one of us would be pregnant and one of us would not. The hubs, fur baby and I have been doing a “sticky pregnancy vibe” dance each night across my belly (similar to spirit fingers), so if anyone would like to join this ritual with us, hands up!

Friday was simply a magical day! I cannot describe how cool it is to see an embryo implant in your uterus on a television screen. The hubs most certainly might be one of those guys that are knocked out in labor & delivery for having a video camera places that it shouldn’t go. As soon as the Dr. said do you want to take pictures of this, off he went with 100 flashes and questions. His excitement was genuinely adorable!

The past 36 hours has been bed rest in hopes that our little embryo will attach and make a 40-week home out of my uterus. This might be the reason the passage above is a bit of “thought dumping”…. I think all of this couch-laying has turned my brain to mush!

For now enjoy our implantation day in “PG” pictures and keep sending me “sticky pregnancy vibes!”

                                                                     Pre-Implantation

                                                             Embryo Going In

                            As the embryo entered my uterus it appeared as a tiny dot on the screen

                                                     Possibly Baby Rowh's 1st picture!

PS: My diaper bag was also delivered on Friday (5 days early), could it be a sign?

Our Life Could Change That Quickly...?

Tomorrow is the big day, which makes tonight the night before our life could change. It’s weird to think that after 10am tomorrow our little one, the one we’ve longed for, the one we’ve prayed for, the one we’ve cried and stressed over, the one we’ve dreamed of, could be on the way. The Hubs and I will be going out to dinner and relaxing this evening in preparation for tomorrow’s big events, and when we say our prayers this evening; we’ll hope and pray even more to be on the positive side of the 55% chance.

Day#3

Want to guess how many eggs are still growing?? Nine! We have fighters, and as the nurse said today, "beautiful embryos" on our hands. At this stage the embryologists hope to have half of the fetilized eggs with no fragmentation. Currently of the 9 eggs still growing, we have 6 eggs without fragmentation, that's 75%, woo hoo!

One of these embryos will be coming to live inside of me, hopefully for the next 40 weeks, on Friday at 10am. The hubs and I are busy planning a pre-pregnancy dinner date for tomorrow night because it's bed rest for the remainder of the weekend. I chuckle to think of the story we could one day share with our child about the morning they were created.

Day #2 Update

I’m sorry for the delay in posting, but we got a spectacular report on our little eggs yesterday! As of Noon yesterday 9 eggs were continuing to grow and had reached the stage 4 cell division;  we’re looking for stage 6 division today and the cell’s should start to divide by function.  All eggs appeared to be growing well, although 1 egg was showing 10% fragmentation. Call it “mother’s intuition” but I anticipate only having 8 eggs thriving today.

I’m feeling well and will begin a 4 day period of bed rest starting tomorrow. I’ve rented just about every Red Box movie I can get my hands on and I’m ready to relax!

A Quick Update- "eggcellent progression"

Just checking in to let my loyal blog followers (haha) know our day #1 fertilization update! Of the 11 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature and able to be fertilized last evening. As of Noon today, 9 eggs had fertilized normally with cells dividing into the stage 2 growth. We're looking for viable eggs to develop to stage 4 on tomorrow's report and praying that these eggs will continue growing if God sees fit. It's a bit harsh but what the embryologist are looking for is "survival of the fittest" so that the best egg(s) can be implanted with the best chances of attaching to my uterine lining for a pregnancy!

I hope that my honesty doesn't freak anyone out; however, it is part of the IVF process that we had to accept when deciding to take this journey.